just till something better comes along

well from all the hyp i had on this con i was kinda expecting alittle more action to be going on, so it turned into another san japan. didnt really do anything con related but had fun non the less. so ill try and remember as much as i can. ummmm friday i meet some really cool cats jason and mandi and spent most the con with them. also all my con circles are starting to merge. its creepy. like i was talking to jason and i was telling him how his style reminded me of matt harms [link] and another artist named will [link] and he told me matt is a friend of his and will is his roommate XD and ive been stal- i mean following their work on Da for a LONG time. also jason and madni know my best friend lauren and pretty much all my con friends. XD told yeah, creepy. but yeah also LOOOOTS of drinking was involved. i drank a bottle of baileys saterday night and it had barly any effect on me. until i started moving anyways. but yeah my friend j kept me up all night talking about wanting commit suiside and stupid shit like that till about 5 in the morning till i finally told him to shut up and go to bed. then he woke me up at 6 to more bull shit which made me PISSED so i went for a walk in the 50 degree weather in a muscle shirt and swim trunks to my car and was debating highly of sleeping in there then taking off back home. but after cooling off for about an hour i went back to the room and thankfully he was asleep so i passed out. woke up at about 9 and continued on with the day. meet up with my friend DJ who i havent seen since school let out and he was having a fan gazm since it was his first con. it was pretty funny. but at about 3 sunday i left for galveston to go see my dad since he couldnt make it down to austin this month. im ganna blame it on the lack of sleep but on the way up as soon as i saw the water i actually felt happy. i geuss all the memories i had there as a kid came back. the whole time i was there i couldnt help but smile. me and my dad drove down the boardwalk and got some ice cream and chatted about life then went to see the Vampires Assistant which ive been waiting to see since i finished the books about 2 years ago. then monday morning i checked out of the hotel and we went on the ferry. which still has that freedom effect on me. after that i headed back home. and now here i am. while at the con shannon told me that she might be working reg at Yule con in about 3 weeks in dallas and i told her i'd help out if she wanted. so thats on the agenda. as for now, time to relax and go see dez later today.

so i finally got my computer back up and running so the first order of business was to change some of my pictures to a new upload that you can actually see. so thats about it for the update. enjoy

so i didn't go to galveston cause me and my dad both agreed that that would just be bad. but i started making plans to go back to school in the spring, ganna try and sign up for some classes on monday. still kinda looking for a job but what evs. mostly trying to get my shit together. atleast this time of doing nothing has let me practice my art alittle.

thats about what my mind is doing right about now. so im moving out of my apartment cause i cant stand a roommates bullshit anymore but i just got my computer out of there so i have internet for the first time in about 4 months. all my plans are pretty much all jumbled up cause i dont have anything set for the future and its really pressuring. excpectly with my dad constently telling me pretty much how worthless i am. so so far i have a few plans, find a job, if that doesnt happen within about a week im ganna go to galvestion to help my dad out. it was only supposed to be a month but now he wants it to be longer. i also really want to go back to school but if i cant get shit straightening out then im pretty much fucked. also i HATE asking my mom for money but thankfully her and her b/f have been helping me out with some money issues, but gawd i hate it so much. i was so proud of myself when i got out on my own and could support myself but not even 5 months later im back where i started but with even less. *sighs* just .... really really confused